Saturday, November 10, 2012

When the Police come a knock'n

I do have to prefaced this post with. Our life is never EVER EVER...
This has been a crazy crazy week. Most of you know that my MIL is very ill. This past week we had to move her to the Hospice Home. My heart breaks. And I'll stop there with that because I will start bawling like a baby...

I've been juggling work, visits with MIL, running, and life this past week. I don't think I've slept more than 5 hours all week. Just ask my co workers...I walked into work looking like "Boo Boo the Fool". Puffy eyed and all...clothes all wrinkled and sporting a ponytail everyday. Thursday was looking up, I finally made it to the beauty shop  and I had more than 5 hours of sleep Wednesday night.

All was changed by the knock on the door

First, I am writing this story not at all to make light of the situation. In no way is this a funny story. In fact it's really sad. BUT from our end. This is a night that I don't want to forget. Sometimes God brings laughter in a strange ways at 2:30am in the morning.

so here we go...

It's 2:30 am Friday morning, mom is asleep on the couch. (unfortunately for her she made her reservation at Hotel Lassen a month too late, all rooms were full so her happy butt got the couch) Mom's on the couch asleep with Manny (who apparently after this night we confirm that he is not a watch dog)
She hears: "knock" "knock" "knock" at the front door
She thinks she's hearing things and chalkes it up to old kid..
"Knock" "Knock" "knock" again but this time she hears someone turn the knob on the door. She FLIES into our room (mom is used to the city of STL and when someone jiggles the front door handle, you A. Get a gun, B. Call Ray Ray and Pookie or C. Run like hell and wake someone up)
She choose C.
"Mike get up someone is knocking on the door"
Mike gets up and goes to the door and I see the Policeman (and seriously my heart dropped. I thought it was about my MIL but then later laugh becuase why in the hell would they bring the calvery to deliver the news)
Police:"You are in the line of fire, you need to evacuate your home immediately"

What the What?

ok, let's take a little time out for a second and think about this...who says that to someone at 2:30am? Can't they come up with a code phrase (that won't make me freak out) something like:
"Hey, guys. Love your home.Sorry to wake you. We have a little tiff outside...every thing's going to be ok. We've called Target and they are open why don't you guys head down there and do a little shopping. We'll give you a call when your neighbor is done having a moment.  Then end that statement with "you're looking good Ms.Lassen...keep it up and maybe give me a little wink"

There is something about hearing you're in the line of fire that put me in a full blown panic. So we rush around. No time for finding a bra. Just enough time to get my do rag off my head and put a sweat shirt on. Mom however felt the need to use the potty and grab random things off the table. Mike couldn't find his glasses, which is bad for everyone. Swear he's up there with Ray Charles. So the Police came back and knocked again..I guess we were taking too long(and I was too scared to answer the door so mom did...she went to the door and said "who is it?"
It was the Police again, he said:"whatever you do, DO NOT OPEN YOUR GARAGE"

ok, that's where I freaked..

Me: Is he out there? are we safe? OMG I'm scared (and I don't have a bra on)
Police: you are fine we will lead you to your car
so he walks us(Mike, Neil, Mom and me who is carrying Hannah) to Mike's truck and informs us that the streets are barricaded so no one can get in our out.
Once again...doesn't help the situation.
There were police cars and lights everywhere.
We get in truck and seriously...I was laying on the back seat.gansta style..for some reason I didn't want my head above the window.
I guess I get a little dramatic when I get scared.
Mike later looked back and said, "Babe, they aren't shooting at us...AND we're out of the subdivision...sit up.
which caused waves of laughter in the car.
We drove around the big town of Benton and I'm pretty sure we laughed the entire time (which is something we needed)
We laughed:
at the fact that we were told that no one was allowed in or out of the subdivision, yet "Elmer Fudd" let us out with no questions: we died laughing
We laughed:
at the fact that I was so freaked and apparently talking out of my ass the entire time.
We laughed:
at the fact that I used all of my SVU skills to solve the case. I had it all figured out
We laughed:
at the fact that I was too scared to answer the door when the police knocked again. Mom answered but before she opened the door I said..Mom it could be the bad guy...ask who it is?
Gotta remember the Safety Kid Rules
We laughed:
at the fact that we knew no one and had no where to go. Why that was funny to us? Not sure but maybe it had to do with the fact that it was 2:30am and we were sleep deprived. Now that I look back, Mike and Neil were totally dressed.Mom and I were in our PJ's. Mom was even in her robe. Hilarious.
Of course we laughed about our midnight adventure all day Friday. In no way are we making light of the situation. It was very sad.

The reason why we had to leave

Mike's Version: Short and Sweet. I guess it's time to come up with a "Evacuation Plan"

Mike Lassen Ha didn't have time to grab the jorts. Neil, Amie, Hannah, and Amie's mom graded ourself an F on the evacuation. The cops were yelling at us to hurry up. I couldn't see and fumbled around looking for keys and forgot the wallet. Amie was scared shitless. Hannah slept. Kim was a coward and came to get me to answer the door. Neil was real sweet though. He knew exactly how to move from playing a lot of call of duty.

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