Love is....

This is probably one of my favorite passages in the bible. It’s pretty simple and straight to the point. This passage tells us how to love each other. We had this read at our wedding and I’m so glad we did. I personally, have to go back and read this passage… you know just as a little reminder. Especially on the love is patient part. God lawrd…I have zero patients. M, he has all the patients in the world.

Mike and I are approaching our wedding anniversary next week. I can honestly say from the get go of our marriage, it has been a whirlwind of events. We were relocated 439 miles to be exact from all of our friends and family, new house, new baby; new job I mean the list goes on. We’ve managed to laugh, cry, and maybe argue more than we should but in the end we have stuck close to each other and by God we are making it and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

I am beyond blessed to have M and my family. I am more than excited to spend our 4th wedding anniversary on the beach with an umbrella drink and M by my side. M will be the one shellacked in SPF 5,000 sunscreen because ol boy hasn’t been out in the sun all summer long.

My Husband the Jokester

This weekend I hit the road and headed back to STL with some girl friends of mine.

Our plan was to act like we were 23 not 32, shop, enjoy delicious food and drinks and act like we've lost our minds at BSB concert, we did all that and more, More details on that later.

When I got home I was feeling...a little large and in charge from all of the booze so I decided it would be a good idea to hit the old treadmill.

That was a horrible decision by the way. I was so dehydrated from all of the bud lights, my calves were cramping up like a Mother Fluffer.

 Let me set the scene.

It's about 8pm.

It's hotter than two mice in a wool sock in my garage.

I'm sweating like a Hebrew slave.

I NEVER leave the garage door open.

The treadmill is facing the wall/TV so I can not see anything behind me.

It was raining, I was hot.

I have 8 miles to run.

I was feeling a little brave.

I convinced myself that Freddy Krueger, like myself, doesn't like getting his hair wet so there was no way he'd snatch me while I was running.

I'm running in my own little hot world. I was focused on the TV.

 It was starting to get a little dark. (Read: I'm scared of someone coming up behind me)

You know that feeling you get when you feel like someone is watching you?

I had it.
 I turn around and see this shadow (because at this point it's pretty dark in the garage and outside, but light enough to run. I turned around just in time to see M lurch his big gorilla arms towards me.

Here's where it gets a little foggy because it happened so fast.

  M's Version: which I have to say is a little hard to understand because he's laughing uncontrollably.

I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, OMG, I'm so sorry....which was hard to really feel that remorse since he was laughing so hard. I'm telling you ladies, he could work for Hallmark, writing sympathy cards.

I thought I'd just come up and say "boo" but you turned around (more laughing) You JUMPED so high! and Screamed..I've never heard you scream like that. omg...I wish I had that on tape.

I have never seen you so scared (laughter, but now there are tears rolling down his face) you were airborne for a good 3 seconds I tried to catch you before you hit the treadmill but I couldn't catch you. Then you FLEW right off the treadmill right between my legs.

Me: I can really tell you're sorry from all of your laughter M

I swear I turned around saw the gorilla arms come towards me... I JUMPED...

Mid air I thought to myself when am I going to land?

landed on my elbow..

I see M over me trying to catch me but at this point the treadmill was set on 7.0 so I FLEW right between his legs.

oh, I was madder than a fat kid at fat camp.

Who does that? So because I like a good joke every once in awhile, I am taking the higher road and laughing this one out but can I just say payback is a biotch.

I paused the treadmill, got a Band-Aid and got back on and finished my run.

He did come home with this sweet card. and yes that is a monkey on a treadmill

 

I'd like to mention that as I'm typing this he is STILL laughing..and saying "you should have seen your face" JERK

Weather

I'm sure you've heard about the devastation that took place yesterday in OK. My heart just breaks. I could not imagine the thought of not being able to find my family. I saw an interview with a man who lived with his handicapped wife. He said they ran for their bathroom and prayed. He said God protected them. Something tells me he will never miss a Sunday in church. ha I kid I kid

I can't even imagine.

Squeeze your family a little more today.

on a lighter note

We are getting the severe weather that is moving from OK. Last night H and I went to bed like normal. around midnight I hear the rain, wind and thunder. I swear Dorothy flew by. Then I heard a familiar nose of the back door opening and closing. Of course my first thought was" Freddy Kruger is trying to find shelter from the storm". Of course I notice M is gone, so I quietly call him. you know not loud enough to wake up H. I don't know what is worse, finding ol Freddy in our house or waking H in the middle of the night. My money is on H.

I digress

I get up and see the back door open. I look out and my lovely husband in the back yard. He has set out his "weather watching gear" which includes his laptop, the dog and his "work desk" aka H's princess pool.

REALLY? did I mention it's 12am?

Me: WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
M: Catching a storm

I'm sorry, "catching" a storm requires more than a princess pool.

He finally convinces me that the world was not ending and he was safe. So like a good wife, I stole my dog back and went to bed.

Apparently we are having bad storms all day. Did I mention we don't have basements here. Yes, let that sink in. Tornado's and no basements.

everyone be safe out there today!

Fat Tuesday

So last night I thought I'd be wife of the year and offer to take my husband to WWE. The fact that I offered to take him ON the day of the show that happened to be sold out may or may not have been my out. Whoopsie! Its the thought that counts right? We were sure we could find scalpers but those bubba's weren't giving up there tickets to go see wrastling...

Can I just mention the level of people watching just in the parking lot. WOW. I seriously saw a 500 pound man in a wheel chair with a wrastling shirt on (florescent green) licking a lollipop like it was his JOB!


I made sure M was good and full of margarita's so he wasn't too upset about not getting tickets. We headed to our favorite watering hole and dance and drank like we were 21. After all it was Fat Tuesday!

Now, all I want is a number 2 from McDonald's a Dr. Pepper and my bed.

MLK

Happy MLK/Inauguration day!!

How shall I spend my day? hmmm? How about on the couch with a cup of wine, running errands, cleaning hanging with my girl.

I almost sent her to the sitter, then Mommy guilt set in. It's would be different if I had something to do but I don't. Plus there is something about being here alone that is starting to freak  with my imagination. Note to self: STOP WATCHING ID CHANNEL.

So today H and I will be celebration MLK and NOT watching the inauguration by oh I don't know...shopping, lunch, and ice cream. Then when she's all jacked up on sugar we'll head over to dance class tonight.

Yesterday, M and I actually went out ALONE for lunch, drinks and a movie. We tried this new restaurant called Local Lime The margarita's and the guacamole was to DIE for. nom nom. Then we went and saw: Dark Thirty Zero or whatever the hell it's called. M's pick not mine.

It was just ok in my book.

So my lovely husband thought he should move my treadmill in the house from the garage...that was  7 days ago.

Well, the dang thing wouldn't fit through the bedroom door.
So M started taking it apart. Piece by Piece

 GASP, I instantly started hyperventilating but I couldn't let M see the doubt in my eyes as he started taking my treadmill apart.

I just kept saying, "let's just leave in the garage", "it's ok, I sort of love it in the garage" When I wanted to yell "STOP IN THE NAME OF LOVE!" "Put that wrench down and put my treadmill back together and put it BACK in the garage"

Taking a girl's treadmill apart when she is training is grounds for separation.

So now my treadmill is back in the garage...in 2 pieces... I swear if that thing isn't put back together. M's toothbrush will be dipped in the toilet.

God love 'em

Just the three of us

Seven days of no house guest equals seven days of Mike and I pretending we're on our honeymoon no one screaming  because their show was interrupted to record the new episode of Honey Boo Boo!

Don't get me wrong, we love having N and Mimi with us. N is like a brother to M. And he buys nice gifts, takes out the trash, picks up dinner AND I don't have to rub his feet to return the favor. 
MIMI can stay because she's MIMI...duh. I owe that women my life.  She's wonderful and not to mention my wardrobe doubled when she got here.

I'm not going to lie, it was nice being just the two of us. For like 2.5 seconds...lol. I kid we had fun. We ate dinner together, watched movies, shopped and even thought about throwing a party before they came home. It was nice, it was very nice.

M seems to be doing better and better each day. Of course there are some odds and ends that he has to tie up and thankfully everyone is working together without drama. I can't believe it's been one month. Time surely heels all wounds. H keeps asking for her. Of course we say she's with Jesus. And usually H's say "oh ok" but lately she's been saying "no, she's at the hospital" which usually ignites the water works for me. So, my plan today is to find a book. I still feel that she's a little too young but I know she feels and realizes that L is missing.

ok enough of that.

This weekend my wonderful husband took H to her very first movie. I was so torn.  I really wanted to go but I had plans to have drinks with a friend of mine for her birthday. I'm a sucker for drinks and girl talk. M assured me he'd be fine and he would take pictures.


M said H did awesome! She sat in her lap the entire time eyeballs glued to the screen! I'm sure it had nothing to do with the COKE or the Twizzlers or the BUTTER POPCORN.

So sweet. He is such a good daddy.

So, since things were going a-ok with those two. I took it upon myself to go see THIS IS 40 after drinks.

 GO SEE IT!

 

Monday Mumbles

Monday,

Why You Treat Me So Bad, yep bringing that song back. Apparently it's Way Back Week. The pimple face dweeb at Wal-Mart totally called me out for buying NSYNC Home for Christmas album. I couldn't resist $5.00. It's a good CD.

So Monday showed its ugly face at 3am. Poor H was coughing up her lunch, dinner, milk and what's left of her lungs. Poor girl can't get over this cough. I can't remember the last time we've slept in our bed alone through the night.

I stayed up way to late boozing it with the cool kids writing Christmas cards and singing Tina Turner Style to my new NSYNC CD.


So needless to say, when I walked into work and only stayed 17minutes it was for the best. It would have taken 1.5 seconds for one person to look at me wrong and it would be on like donkey kong. No sleep and no running eqauls. Shaniqua...A.K.A. My alter ego. She's exisit. just ask M every month around the 4th. BE SCARED.

Thankfully, I was able to get H into the doctor this morning. Why is it when you take a sick child to the doctor the minute they walk into the door all symptoms are GONE. H was practically skipping and singing  "Walking on Sunshine" I mean happy as poor folks on the first of the month. So of course the doctor was like "um, what are her symptoms?

So I pretty much paid $25.00 for her to think I'm an idiot, 3 Blues Clue Stickers and for her to tell me my child is beautiful. I'm in the WRONG business. She chalked it up to allergies. Now we wait for the pharamist to rape call me to pick up H's $45.00 antibiotics. Again Monday, "why you treat me so bad?"


I'm usually all for taking a "recharge day with H" but today was our Christmas party. Don't worry, I let M know how I always make sacrifices,miss the fun stuff, let our child use my shirt as a Kleenex, birth her, got stretch marks, etc then I slowed my roll because I remember he hasn't seen the CC bill or BOUGHT my Christmas gift. I kid I kid...


So here we are watching The Wizard of OZ for the 43,256 time today. H now has a "Toto in a basket" and she sings and dances "follow the yellow brick road" as she laps the living room. I DIE! It's totally worth siting at home eating my weight in Christmas cookies and playing with H. I could clean the shit storm that went through my home but I wouldn't want to hurt myself. Plus my nails are still a little wet.

I never knew

Sometimes life throws you a few curve balls. Most of the time you can swerve and miss them. Sometimes they hit you smack in the face. This time I feel like life has punch throat my family and then stole our lunch money. WOW.

I never knew how much pain cancer can cause a entire family. She may be the one with cancer but we all suffer. We are all in pain. This is all so shitty.

I never knew how hard it would be to watch M as his mother slipped further and further from life.


There will be no more Linda Lou apple pies, no more random goodwill buys, no more bitching about banging and clanging in the kitchen at 4am because she wanted toast. No more talks about the real housewives. No more sitting outside watching the hummingbirds. H will have no more dance parties with her Mawmaw. God I'd give anything to hear her glide her noisy house shoes across the hard wood floors.

I never knew that she would love me as her own. That even though I was thirty + she would ALWAYS tell me to put my seat belt on. She would drive me crazy at times, like every mother does but I would give anything for her to open her eyes and say just anything.

I never knew how hard it would be to watch someone's heart beat, lungs pump air but them be so far away from life. She's just there. THERE. Out of touch with life and in the hands of Jesus.

Today's Motivation

Before I bore talk about my run...can I just say.....

GO CARDINALS!!!!!!

Amazeballs!!!

I have to be honest I watched the first half like a true fan. I mean no iPhone and laptop. Mike and I watched it and drank beer (whoops on the beer part) It was a nice indoor date night. Then the score went to 0-7. I couldn't handle it. And we were out of beer. So I dozed off just a little tiny bit on the couch.

I heard...YEAH BUDDY!! and Mike was up and moving. SO I get up and go to bed. At this point it was 11pm. H was having a break down and I was beyond tired...and we were out of beer (damn you dry county) I was deep into my DVR watching TEEN MOM: Amber behind bars (wow...sad..I know) When Mike " my almost 40yr old husband" comes SKIPPING into the bedroom cheering...I could not stop laughing...Then I hear him in the living room... YEAH...Mutha F**kers!"

I died...in tears laughing...

NOTE TO SELF: Get BEER skinny girl COSMO for tomorrows game.

So, I get my lazy butt out of bed this morning totally dreading my run. I just wanted it over. I had to run..I've been shackalacking. PLUS my bestie Marcia texts me last night (as I was mid motion of guzzling beer...she always knows when I'm skipping a run...How does she do that?) so she texts me her time on her awesome run for the day. That girl is killing it. She has come a far way in such a little time.

So I get my happy ass on the treadmill. Instantly I start with the excuses.. my shorts are riding, my ankle hurts...get off and stretch more...what time is it...open the garage door it's too hot.. are there snakes coming in the garage...is Freddy Kruger roaming the streets of Benton...I'd rather be shopping...it that rain..is my hair getting wet..when is mom going to be here...maybe I should call her...how long have I ran so far (.25) .25 that's it? F***. Stay focused Amie

So I tell my mind to shut up and just run...

run...don't look at the time...run...you're strong....You want a beer now? I bet you stop drinking beer don't you...RUN..

 

OK run faster...

 

I want to stop, I want to stop...then Shoop comes on..and I sing...loud and with the recommendations of Marcia I start using hand motions... I realize all the people coming to the neighbors yard sale are looking at me dancing in my garage on the dreadmill..oh well...

 

I'm sure if Freddy Kruger was rooming the streets of Benton...he would pass me by..

 

Finally done: 6 miles 49:34

 

Now get off this DREADMILL and go shopping! Today's MOTIVATION