Sunday, August 4, 2013

My Husband the Jokester

This weekend I hit the road and headed back to STL with some girl friends of mine.

Our plan was to act like we were 23 not 32, shop, enjoy delicious food and drinks and act like we've lost our minds at BSB concert, we did all that and more, More details on that later.

When I got home I was feeling...a little large and in charge from all of the booze so I decided it would be a good idea to hit the old treadmill.

That was a horrible decision by the way. I was so dehydrated from all of the bud lights, my calves were cramping up like a Mother Fluffer.

 Let me set the scene.

It's about 8pm.

It's hotter than two mice in a wool sock in my garage.

I'm sweating like a Hebrew slave.

I NEVER leave the garage door open.

The treadmill is facing the wall/TV so I can not see anything behind me.

It was raining, I was hot.

I have 8 miles to run.

I was feeling a little brave.

I convinced myself that Freddy Krueger, like myself, doesn't like getting his hair wet so there was no way he'd snatch me while I was running.

I'm running in my own little hot world. I was focused on the TV.

 It was starting to get a little dark. (Read: I'm scared of someone coming up behind me)

You know that feeling you get when you feel like someone is watching you?

I had it.
 I turn around and see this shadow (because at this point it's pretty dark in the garage and outside, but light enough to run. I turned around just in time to see M lurch his big gorilla arms towards me.

Here's where it gets a little foggy because it happened so fast.

  M's Version: which I have to say is a little hard to understand because he's laughing uncontrollably.

I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, OMG, I'm so sorry....which was hard to really feel that remorse since he was laughing so hard. I'm telling you ladies, he could work for Hallmark, writing sympathy cards.

I thought I'd just come up and say "boo" but you turned around (more laughing) You JUMPED so high! and Screamed..I've never heard you scream like that. omg...I wish I had that on tape.

I have never seen you so scared (laughter, but now there are tears rolling down his face) you were airborne for a good 3 seconds I tried to catch you before you hit the treadmill but I couldn't catch you. Then you FLEW right off the treadmill right between my legs.

Me: I can really tell you're sorry from all of your laughter M

I swear I turned around saw the gorilla arms come towards me... I JUMPED...

Mid air I thought to myself when am I going to land?

landed on my elbow..

I see M over me trying to catch me but at this point the treadmill was set on 7.0 so I FLEW right between his legs.

oh, I was madder than a fat kid at fat camp.

Who does that? So because I like a good joke every once in awhile, I am taking the higher road and laughing this one out but can I just say payback is a biotch.

I paused the treadmill, got a Band-Aid and got back on and finished my run.

He did come home with this sweet card. and yes that is a monkey on a treadmill

I'd like to mention that as I'm typing this he is STILL laughing..and saying "you should have seen your face" JERK


  1. This sounds exactly like something that would happen in our house.

    1. I need help with some ideas....THIS MEANS WAR :)

  2. That is HILARIOUS! And totally something you'd be laughing at for days, too. ;)