Tuesday, October 9, 2012

Tuesday Letters

Dear St. Louis Cardinals,
Great JOB! Keep it up! We love baseball in OCTOBER! It breaks up the monotony of football. Please keep winning!

Dear heated seats,
You felt so nice on my back this morning. You make 47 degrees tolerable.

Dear crazy old couple in the Wal-Mart parking lot,
Thank you for taking my shopping cart back to the "cart bin."
Yes, old crazy lady I heard you yell obscenities through my window and YES I heard you yell more sweet somethings as you slammed the cart in the bin. 
I do however apologize for rolling my window down and yelling "DO YOU HAVE A PROBLEM?".
That is no way to talk to the elderly, I was raised better than that. BUT you started it! You OLD BITTY!
 FYI I had planned on taking my own cart but I had to put my child in the car first due to the rain..."we" don't like getting our hair wet..duh.
Oh, and I'm sorry your husband got scared and moved his honky tonk truck away from me.
I recommend a quick class on Southern Hospitality or here's an idea...mind your own dang business!

Dear treadmill,
I hated seeing you this morning at 5am too. I am trying to work on our relationship but I just don't like you..at all. I will see you when it gets too cold to run outside.

Dear bacon,
You were delicious last night but we are breaking up.

Dear scale,
Sorry for the words I said this morning to you. Just because I indulged in bacon & beer last night doesn't mean you had to raise my digits. HOW RUDE.

Dear Beer,
I think we should break up...again..

Dear long lost friend Stacey,
I miss you and I'm thinking about you guys. Sorry we keep missing each other. *HUGS*

Dear sweet baby girl,
I love you so much. You give me so much joy. Thank you for asking me if I had my purse and keys before we left the house this morning. You crack me up! It amazes me how much you pick up on the things we say.

Dear almond joy creamer,
I'm so glad we met this past July. I look forward to having you in my coffee every morning.

Dear Mike,
I love you (today...lol..I kid..) Thank you for making me laugh every day, thank you for telling me I look hot and skinny. Thank you for being you. No thank you for sending me nasty pictures of your bathroom adventures. That's inappropriate and I really don't care to see. GROSS

Dear St. Jude Marathon,
See you in 8 weeks!!!

1 comment:

  1. Again...dying laughing. And I don't even want to hear it about being cold at 47 degrees. :P